I have come across many people who possess very self-limiting beliefs and come to accept “there is something behind what has happened to my life” approach as truth. They are continuously asking questions like ‘Why are bad things happening to me?’ not once in a while but always. Such people with ‘victim mindset’ are generally found in poor health, bad relationships, dead-end jobs and financial problems. These people have come to impress upon themselves that they cannot control anything in their lives. This kind of victim mindset though may appear soothing to an individual’s echo but it does not help the bearer achieve anything but ‘sympathy’ from their relationships or life as a whole. Those with ‘victim mindset’ find themselves powerless or incapable of taking any action to life’s challenges. Research sheds light on the reasons for ‘victim mindset’. When the core human needs of safety, love, affection, self-esteem, recognition and achievement are left unfulfilled repeatedly in the childhood, especially during formative years of birth to early childhood, it conditions one to believe that they lack access to supportive resources to take care of themselves. They become extremely dependable on others for even emotional and psychological needs. Individuals with ‘victim mindset’ require someone to ‘babysit’ them even when they grow up. In reality, there is an unconscious negative self-image that is the underlying element of ‘victim mindset’. They have a constant fear that their loved ones will reject or abandon them therefore they influence the emotions of others by blaming, complaining or coercing others to make them feel safe, good and loved.
Unless you take time and efforts to make changes to your life you will continue living this kind of ‘cry-baby’ life. However, before you find out how to let go of this ‘victim mindset’ you need to accept that you have one. If you agree with 5 or more of the following statement, you hold a ‘victim mindset’ which you need to break so as to achieve your life’s dreams.
1. You feel powerless to make changes in your life
2. You feel that your life is controlled by external circumstances over which you have no control
3. You feel your future is bleak and holds bad things
4. You hold a grudge against your past – may be a relationship, family status or upbringing.
5. You want people to understand your situations and extend support
6. You feel life has been unfair to you
7. You complain that others do not love you enough
8. You blame others for making you feel bad
9. You feel sorry for yourself
10. You focus more on problem rather than solution
To get rid of ‘victim mindset’ one has to begin with accepting the problem and them finding ways to treat it. Acclaimed writer Paulo Coelho says, “You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It all depends on how you view your life.” The Hope Academy offers variety of programs like personal counselling sessions, ‘Change your Life’ workshop, positive affirmations, hypnosis, meditation & relaxation, past life regression and visualisation for relationships based on the principles of law of attraction and NLP to help people overcome ‘victim mindset’. To know about us please log on to http://www.thehopeacademy.co.in/